Yes I’ve probably been watching a bit too much Carrie Bradshaw recently. But maybe her mind dump column is not too far from my own way of coming to terms with issues in my life. I’m pretty sure Carrie would be with me on this: that no matter who you have a relationship with, at times they can seem impossible. Sometimes it’s right to carry on fighting, but sometimes it can be so toxic and distructive, you need to walk away.
But just when is it the right time to say enough?
I’m in no way going to tell you the answer here and I definitely haven’t figured it out for myself, but I have been pondering on the following:
When the boundaries which keep you sane have been crossed. I’m not talking about the odd occasion here; although there are boundaries which should never be crossed. I’m talking about when a person in your life repeated does things which they know upsets you. Whether that be in front of your face or behind your back, makes little difference (although behind your back brings in betrayal and integrity). Is that enough to take a break?
When words are listened to which are obviously immature and emotive words, then without questioning the validity of them, change their attitude and actions towards you because if it. Is that a sign of how much they think of you?
Everyone in this world is different. Everyone has their own issues. Where has tolerance, respect and integrity gone from today’s society? When did the world become a place where no one gives a shit about how their actions effect the next person.
Little J and I have been reading a book called Have you filled your bucket today, by Carol McCloud. It talks about how your actions towards another person either fill their bucket with happiness or empty it. When you fill another persons bucket, by a thoughtful word or smile, your bucket fills up too. Visa Versa, when you empty someone’s bucket, you empty yours too.
This book really put into words how I feel about life. I hate emptying someone’s bucket. If I feel like I’ve done something wrong, I try and put it right straight away. I cannot understand how anyone can KNOWINGLY and REPEATEDLY do something they know is going to upset or hurt someone else.
I think when this happens, there comes a time when you have to take your bucket somewhere else. It’s normally when you feel so numb, you stop caring.