Last night I sat watching DIY SOS.  Every one of the families who are helped by the team, have to face incredibly difficult and sad situations.  The lady on the programme last night was a mum of 4 children with kidney disease.  The changes the DIY SOS team made to her home, were, at least, going to prolong her life expectancy and give her back time with her family.

When we delivered Skye’s hot tub wish almost three years ago, there were no cameras, no army of helpers, no film crew.  There were some of Sally’s friends, my brother in law installing the electrical supply and our team.

With everything within me, I wish delivering Skye’s hot tub wish would have saved his life.  If nothing else given him plenty of happy memories with his family.  Skye died just two days after installing his hot tub.  Two short days.  What we did for Skye just didn’t, still doesn’t, feel enough.  That five year old boy’s brain was destroyed by the treatment protocol which was suppose to be saving him from his brain tumour.

It was a big factor in me beginning my running journey.  Thinking I could make some small difference for other families by raising awareness and money.  It has kept me running, through injury, through illness, through my brain telling me to give up.

I wanted to achieve the World Major Marathons for Skye and for my kids.  I wanted to show them that they could do anything they wanted if they worked hard enough.  Circumstances have taken this ambition away from me and as far as I am concerned, the door is closed.  I feel surprisingly OK about it.  I will run Berlin in September and London when I can. I will hopefully raise some money and awareness for Blue Skye Thinking while I’m doing it.  But I won’t be travelling around the World and in all honesty, spending a massive amount of money and time doing so.  Money and time which could probably be of more help to Blue Skye Thinking and my family right here at home.

I spoke to Middle One about it yesterday.  He said “Mum you’ve already shown us, it’s OK!”  Try thinking about that without shedding a tear!

But here we are.  I’ve said it out loud.  I will not be running Boston, Chicago & Tokyo marathons.  Now I need to shake it off and put the smile back on my face.

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